Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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