Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
