You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
