How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
