just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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