like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
