It was confusing and full of hummus
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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