Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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