Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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