I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
