I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
