just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
she woke up with a sticky ear
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
