Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
