Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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