Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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