I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
just found out that she named her cat after me.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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