Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
