I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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