I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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