their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
