at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
