I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
