My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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