i just google imaged poop.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
