Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
do nipples grow back?
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