My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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