I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
