Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
