shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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