You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
