Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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