Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
