idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
