she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i drank out of a bidet.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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