I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
