Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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