On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
