Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
