Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
