Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
