she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
