Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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