guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
