I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
