My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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