I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
