He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
this is an emotional support booty call
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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