The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
