he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize