ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
