i jhust puked up my retainher.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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