thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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