The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
