it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
