He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
