Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
