Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
barbara walters just said penis...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I could fuck to npr.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
