Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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