it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you would pick up someone in the library
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize