problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
